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Sell it to him as something that relieves him of the burden of having to do this stuff---kink---with you and/or feeling bad about not doing this stuff with you. When we got together, she would hurt me (TT, CBT, flogging) before fucking him.

The wife asked if I wanted to play alone sometime, and I said yes.

Since I'm in a great deal of pain here, I thought it only appropriate that I give the column over to letters about BDSM.

You may have to ask four or five girls, or a dozen, before you hit the jackpot (before you ask a dominant girl), but you will have to take the lead.

I've had boyfriends, girlfriends and one-night stands, but I have never really felt like sex worked out as well as I imagine it could.

I have a dominant personality, and people tend to follow me.

In a similar conundrum, a woman wants to watch two guys doing it. But I always back out, because I don't want to risk my family or my husband's happiness.

My problem is, all I can think about is getting fucked by some stranger with no strings attached so I can get rid of this heartbreak, for lack of a better word.