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These are the qualities that help sustain a great relationship that lasts. It turns out that you can develop chemistry over time. Strong chemistry can indicate that there is a strong attraction to this person. There are any number of things you can do to establish or regain chemistry, so long as you are both committed to it.

Interestingly enough, chemistry isn’t absolutely vital to be in a satisfying relationship. In the long run, mutually shared values, respect for each other, and feeling aligned with your partner overall are more important than chemistry. Of course, it’s nice if you can have both chemistry and compatibility, because good chemistry can enhance compatibility and vice versa. It’s not always going to be immediate “fireworks and rockets.” For reasons unknown, sometimes chemistry simply builds over time. But you have to ask yourself this: Who else have I had a strong attraction to? Were these healthy relationships for me, or did the chemistry based solely upon strong physical and emotional attraction, draw me towards “bad boys” or “bad girls”? If you have questions about the medical aspects of this, definitely talk with a healthcare professional. If it’s your sole criteria for what you think might make a good relationship, well, not so wonderful.

It’s when those great dopamine receptors in our brain get activated that we feel this so-called “chemistry.” That’s why we call dopamine the “love hormone.” Contrary to popular opinion, though, our initial attractions are not always based on physical appearance alone.

This physical attraction helps fuel the idea of “falling in love at first sight.” Those feelings are real. Your feelings of chemistry can also lessen over time.

Let’s look at this a bit more to see if any of the following resonates for you.

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Without some initial chemistry, I just wasn’t interested.

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Some people just have that charisma and energy about them and this impacts the effect they have on other people. I have met only a few people who I’ve had instant chemistry with and I thought for sure that they would be a long term item in my life, but, as it happened, chemistry wasn’t enough. The opposite is true, I’ve had some great relationships with people I didn’t feel instant fireworks chemistry with but there was something there I wanted to pursue.

Unfortunately, these people could be missing out on something great.

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