Lonely indian wife dating
The vetting process also limits the choice set size and puts a grinding halt to further search once a choice is made.Making others you trust do all the hard work in the choice process pays off.These are short-term oriented but may not necessarily contribute to longer-term marital outcomes.For instance, social psychologists have found impressive evidence for “attractiveness matching” in which daters give heavy weight to physical attractiveness of potential partners, and favor those whose attractiveness is comparable to their own. The question of how many potential partners to date before marrying someone can be answered by math (the answer is the square root of n, where n is potential lifetime dates, the solution to the “optimal stopping problem”) or computation (made famous by the big data-driven process used by mathematician Chris Mc Kinlay on OKCupid).In an arranged marriage, the speed with which one must decide whether or not to marry the person they have been introduced to doesn’t leave much time for careful thinking or comparisons.Instead, it encourages going with one’s gut feelings about the partner, which in turn may leads to more satisfying outcomes.During my two plus decades living in the United States, I have seen many changes occur in my native India.The country eradicated the scourge of polio, sent a rocket ship to Mars on a shoestring budget, built modern highways crisscrossing the country, and flexed its economic muscles, raising tens of millions of people out of poverty.
Even today, a vast majority of Indians and Indian Americans that I know, including family members, friends, acquaintances, and my students, many of them among the highest educated and westernized strata, choose an arranged marriage over a free-choice one.
Nowhere is this truer than in dating and marriage decisions where potential partners may have different attractive qualities, and none may have all the qualities one is looking for.
My hunch is that what applies to IKEA furniture also applies to choosing a husband or a wife.
The conventional wisdom about decision making is that the more time and effort we spend in making a decision, especially for important issues, the better our decision will be and the happier we will be with the outcome. There is a whole body of research that points to the exact opposite conclusion.
It shows that for complex decisions, people are better served by not thinking too much and relying more on gut feelings.