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The marriage-damaging factor of affairs, it turns out, is far less about sex than it is about the total package of deception.

"Most people, I've found, can recover from sexual infidelity more readily than from the fact that they were lied to," says Vaughan.

Am I either downplaying the relationship to friends or family members, or keeping it a secret altogether? Not only do we have the option to connect with someone at work, online "affairs" are rife, says Jessica Le Roy, founder and clinical director of the Center for the Psychology of Women. Many people have a hard time seeing what's so wrong about this type of friendship.

If you think you can shift the extramarital relationship back to something more innocent, you're probably wrong, says Vaughan.

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