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We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex , a better orgasm, or a better relationship.

But how often do we actually hear the nitty-gritty details of how we might actually achieve those things?

Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex psychotherapist based in San Francisco, to help us out with the specifics.

This week’s topic: How to have video and phone sex when you're in a long distance relationship.

You might find it easier to express yourself using pen and paper, or a more sultry side of your personality might emerge.

Talking over the phone is another fun option that’s not that much more intimidating than texting or writing.

For an easy place to start, or a smooth way to transition into dirty talk, bring up of your favorite memories of having sex together.

Say something like, “you know what just popped into my head today?

You’ll have plenty of time to collect and edit your thoughts, so you probably won’t feel intimidated or put on the spot.Send each other little messages throughout the day, teasing each other until the next time you’re able to speak or see each other in person.For example, “I can’t wait to tell you about this hot dream I had about you last night.Send him a text earlier in the day saying, “my roommate is out tonight. ”There are toys specifically designed for long-distance couples, like the Oh My Bod Club Vibe 2. These toys can be operated remotely, meaning that you can give control over to your boyfriend and pretend that it’s him there stimulating you. When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you’ll come to recognize how precious your time together is.Or you can send each other sexy presents to use the next time you see each other. You’ll learn how to cram a lot of intimacy and connection into the moments you do get to share.

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