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Jackie, I am approaching 50, and just over one year separated from my husband. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.
As I look forward and begin to think about the possibility of future relationships, I can see that dating over 50 might be difficult. So, not only does a large age range, (let’s say 42-57 perhaps?
Are they unknowingly putting up guards that turn men off?
Here’s what they said, followed by my thoughts on how they might overcome these dating problems and attract their best relationship. The other B, the brain, is just as important, especially as you’re getting to know a woman. Anyone who’s looking for a true connection is more likely to find it with someone closer to their age. ◊♦◊ People in big cities say it’s hard to meet anyone.
It’s not likely to happen like that at this age, and on the rare occasions when it does, the relationship is usually based on nothing more than lust. Some men like thin women, some like curvier figures. A man who never graduated college might be brilliant (Steve Jobs). ◊♦◊ Just about any problem you have in dating can be overcome. You don’t have to speak multiple languages, live in a big city, or have a perfect body. Dating problems begin to disappear when you overcome your insecurities and limiting beliefs about the opposite sex.
Would you rather crash and burn or have a slow sizzle that bursts into hot flames over time? That’s why people drop billions of dollars a year on a quest for everlasting youth through makeup, beauty treatments, botox, and face lifts. The men I’ve spoken to care less about how much a woman weighs and more about how much a woman loves her body. So, if you’re a larger woman, take good care of your body and flaunt it, sista! I know many really smart people, including my son, who don’t have high degrees, and many people with a Ph. There are fewer dating issues when you can communicate your wants and needs clearly and have confidence and self-respect.
I might just be feeling sorry for myself but it seems to me that a 50ish woman is somewhere in no-man’s land for a future relationship. So, I guess what I’m trying to say in response to your asking my thoughts on the likelihood of a 50 year old woman finding a second life partner is: I HAVE NO CLUE, I’ll let you know when I find out? Perhaps this same attitude applies when it comes to dating. I equate happiness with: children, family, career, fun and surrounding myself with people I love and enjoy, whether that involves romantic love or not. The last thing I will tell you to do is to slow down and don’t panic.
I notice that lots of people who were married for maybe 10 years or less seem to say…we got married early, found out it didn’t work, and then later remarried and have found long term, happiness with their next partner/spouse. ) increase the number of potential men for you, but I think you will see that age is only a number, unlike it was, say if you were 30, dating a 20 year old. Go on dates, but don’t force the serious relationship.
What I also notice is that I don’t seem to hear any/as many happy stories about people (like me) who were married 20-25 years, got divorced, and then found happiness/ marriage, etc again. I have always believed that 50’s is in fact, no-man’s land, whether you are single, married, divorced or widowed, the reason being that you aren’t really young anymore, but you aren’t old either. I am me and all I can do is live life to my potential. The thing that bothered me most about your email is this part: You write: “found happiness/marriage etc.
Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor.
I’ll leave you with this–Beautiful women who are over 50: Michelle Pfeiffer, Andie Mac Dowell, Catherine Keener, Oprah, Madonna, Kim Basinger, Kim Catrall, Christie Brinkley, Diane Sawyer, Jennifer Grey Best of luck! Check out “Honey, I Want A Divorce” Divorce is a journey. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially”, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and the Chicago Tribune online.