Codependent dating relationships

Both narcissists and codependents are able to adapt to the likes and needs of one another, but for the narcissist, it’s a tactic of seduction; for the accommodating codependent, it’s a way of relating and their personality style.

( compares personality styles of narcissists and codependents.) When codependents experience love-bombing, their low self-esteem is also raised.

Narcissists idealize prospective partners to augment their own lack of self-esteem.

The thinking is, “If I can win over the admiration of this very attractive person, then I must be worthy.” As reality creeps into the relationship, they discover that their partner is inadequate or fear that their flawed, empty self will be revealed as expectations for emotional intimacy increase.

They may discover that they’ve been disposed of for a new prospect, cheated on, or two-timed all along.

Their unconscious belief is, “If I’m loved, then I must be lovable.” Although some codependents may behave in ways that appear needy and insecure, narcissists hide their neediness and act self-assured, in control, proud, and even cocky―like a male peacock flaunting his feathers.When that are either avoidant or anxious, or some combination.People with insecure attachment styles feel a basic insecurity stemming from relationships with early caregivers.Any slight or imagined chink in their ideal image of their partner feels painful.As narcissists’ vision of their perfect partner deteriorates, their hidden shame increasingly causes discomfort.

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