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some local churches, clergy, and counselors fail to address abuse head-on for fear of breaking up a marriage." He also argued, "Others steer clear of addressing the topic from the pulpit or in adult education for fear of broaching an uncomfortable subject.

This silence around domestic violence has to end." In the 1970s, when multiple programs were initiated to train church leaders about domestic violence, the response "But no one ever comes to me with this problem" often came up to frustrate efforts.

Create an autograph sheet with lines and 15 to 20 different statements that some of the people in the room can do, but probably not most of them.

Leave a line below each statement for an autograph.

When you are ready to break the ice, have everyone draw a name.

They are to keep the name they drew secret and if they choose their own name, they must put it back and choose another.

Husbands should love their wives as they love their own body, as Christ loves the Church." Steven Tracy, author of "Patriarchy and Domestic Violence" writes: "While patriarchy may not be the overarching cause of all abuse, it is an enormously significant factor, because in traditional patriarchy males have a disproportionate share of power...

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Once you have your sheet created, you can use it multiple times.A contributing factor to the disparity of responses to abuse is lack of training, many Christian seminaries had not educated future church leaders about how to manage violence against women.Once pastors began receiving training, and announced their participation in domestic violence educational programs, they immediately began receiving visits from women church members who had been subject to violence.Pearson's study in 1997 observed "Studies of male batterers have failed to confirm that these men are more conservative or sexist about marriage than nonviolent men".In Responding to Domestic Abuse, a report issued by the Church of England in 2006, suggests that patriarchy should be replaced rather than reinterpreted: "Following the pattern of Christ means that patterns of domination and submission are being transformed in the mutuality of love, faithful care and sharing of burdens.

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