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"He may not consciously realize how much they bother him, but they can cause a guy to shut down," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of .To avoid unwittingly triggering that kind of reaction, we compiled the six shadow phrases that can upset a guy.Insulting his mom or screaming out the name of an ex in bed? But the most damaging mistake you can make with your man is to drop loaded phrases that you don't even realize are harmful.You don't have to buy into her predictions, but at least you'll have a good laugh." title="image" class="lazyimage lazyload" data-src="https://hips.hearstapps.com/cos.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/14/25/539fa23a3d3f2_-_cos-fun-date-ideas-12-lgn.jpg?
Of course, there are some secrets you simply have to tell someone. Saying "I'm only telling you this because I trust you to keep a secret" will both show him that you care about respecting your friend's wishes and make him feel like he's part of the secret instead of an outlet for it. "Don't be silly — I haven't done that in ages." What, just because you're coupled up, you can't dance until 4 a.m...use that weird Dutch sex toy that you think might be illegal?resize=480:*" You pretty much know when you're being blatantly rude, mean, or crazy around your guy.It's those moments when you use seemingly innocent but actually harmful lines that you can cause the worst injury to your relationship.We suggest you eliminate them from your vocabulary...like, now. "You're so much better than all the other jerks I've dated." Absolutely, it seems like you're paying him a nice compliment. "It sounds like something a girl who's had terrible luck in relationships would say," explains professional matchmaker Rachel Greenwald, author of.And since guys tend to be pretty rational, he'll figure out that the one constant in all those awful relationships was you..you must be the problem. He'll also assume that since you think everyone you've ever dated is a jerk, you will eventually think he's a jerk too, which provides very little motivation to try to build on your bond. "Most men don't want to be reminded of the other men in your life, even — or especially — if they were all jerks." Instead, keep the focus on the present relationship by saying something like "I've never met anyone like you before. '' If he's blowing money he doesn't have on cutting-edge electronics, an expensive car, or pricey gifts for you — well, a couple of are okay — it would seem only natural that you should point out the error of his ways.