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What’s the point of being in a relationship at any age if you’re not having fun?

It shouldn’t be a job and it shouldn’t be depressing.

I enjoy learning new things, so I want a partner who is willing to teach me stuff.

If you’ve never really thought about what you want in a partner, then I suggest you figure it out so you can find the right fit.

Nearly everyone who is single in their 30s has dealt with some form of heartbreak—be it ghosting, cheating, or death. The third date is not a good time to discuss how your ex cheated on you for three years and you didn’t realize it until a scandalous photo was sent to you from an anonymous email account. Yes, your past has shaped who you are, but it’s your past—not your present or future.

When you’ve been in a lot of unsuccessful relationships, a natural defense mechanism is to put your guard up.

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The relationship won’t be healthy, nor will it last.When the time is right and you’ve met someone you’re into who is also into you, let your guard down. If this makes you feel anxious, tell yourself everything will be okay.When you’re in your 30s, it’s much easier to become jaded and bitter; so many relationships have not worked out that you may start to think it’s never going to happen.Write down the names of the last few people you dated.Next to each name, list the top five things you liked about them and the top five things you didn’t like about them.

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